Living Not For Yourself
by Kari Newsom

This may not be what you're thinking.  By 'not' living for ourselves, I just want to challenge people to begin living for other people, instead always having the 'Me' attitude.  It's easy to fall into, but if we're not careful, it can begin to ruin relationships and put a strain on you and others. 

I can talk on this subject for hours (and those of you who know me, know I like to talk) - but I have one example that I am always reminded of about some body 'not' living for themselves.

Let's go back 7 years to November 2000.  It's the month I married the most wonderful man in the world and we ventured off to Mexico for our honeymoom.  This was a great time for me since I pretty much never left Colorado, let alone my city, my entire life.  (okay, so maybe that's exaggerating, but sometimes I can't include Wyoming and Nebraska as major adventures and I did go to Texas in 1997 for a motorcycle rally).  It was my first plane ride, with my new husband and it was bliss - for all who remember that 7 day period of perfectness.

Anyway, my husband doesn't care what others think of him, what he does, how he looks, etc. (which is where I come in to say sometimes maybe you should, because clean clothes is a plus when you go to a nice restaurant).  But, it also is a good trait in the fact that he has never been about himself.  To this day he's the same.  He'll watch any movie I want to watch; girly, chick flick, animation, Disney, boring - whatever - he never says 'no' and never complains (I'm the same way, but I had to speak up about Napolean Dynamite - as my whole family knows, that was the most wasted 2 1/2 hours of my life and I'll never get that time back! :o(  So, he'll watch anything, he'll go anywhere, to any store, drive all day and all night to cart me around places.  Even though he's not big on smelling lotion or candles, he'll always give it a try if I ask.  There's more examples, but you get the picture.  He's that kind of a self-less guy.

So, for our honeymoon I happened to have one suitcase that was a very soft colored tapestry that had a non-overwhelming floral print.  It was one of my carry-ons and as we landed in Cancun and were getting off the plane, he carried the bag for me - just because he's a nice guy - and as we are walking down the 'tunnel' off the plane, there were 4, single, annoying guys who we had to listen to all the way there.  They were behind us and I saw them pointing to my bag that my husband was carrying and then they all laughed (remember the floral print).  Well, that irritated me - they irritated me.  Then, loud enough for them to hear me I said to my husband, "That is why your married and they're not.  It's also why you're in Mexico with your wife and they're hear with eachother."  The guys stopped laughing and were silent the rest of the way out of the tunnel.

Why?  Could it be that the reality hit them that they would rather be in Mexico with 'a' wife as oppose to their buddies - and maybe their inability to be a real man was the reason they were all single?  (at least this is what I perceived happened).

The point?  Stop being so concerned with what everyone else thinks about you.  Who cares if they talk and whisper.  Who cares if the movie is dumb and girly?  So what if you don't care too much for baseball or monster trucks!  Do any of you realize how much that can mean to a person if you will step out of your comfort zone and do something because they like it, not because you like it? 

I wonder how many relationships are ruined because people fail to take the time to try new things or they fail to want to make someone else happy other than themselves?  Don't be one of those aggravating people like the guys on the plane.  Do something today because your spouse would enjoy it, or a friend, your child, your parents.  Stop being selfish and get on with life.  You'll enjoy it more.

ps...if there are any guys out there reading this and you're married or single, do you realize how attractive that is when you would literally do anything for your wife or girlfriend?  Try it - it may change things for you!

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Kari Newsom is the founder of KKAN Lifestyles, Inc. and creator of www.thehighestlife.com, the leading expert in living your best life now - Spirit, Soul & Body as well as www.theblufish.com, your one stop informational site with topics ranging from organizing, parenting, weddings, pets, celebrations, holidays and more.